PENN AVENUE

We sit backstage in a dive bar
In downtown Pittsburgh on a rainy night
Waiting to go on.
Bottles of beer on the table
And the sweet smell of cannabis in the air.
We were eighteen years old, Billy and me
And thought we were infallible and we'd live forever.
Paid to do cover songs, but sometimes slipping in an original.
We'd skipped a year of college, much to our parents dismay
And cast our dreams to the wind.
We found a funky stage on Penn Avenue
Where the owner looked the other way when we showed him our ID
And paid us under the table to entertain the crowds.
It was a wildly romantic time and we tried to be June and Johnny
Instead of Sid and Nancy.
We drew audiences; teenagers to hear something new
And adults out to hear a memory
And we gave 'em both what they wanted.
I was on guitar, Billy on bass
And big Danny Riley on drums.
We covered everything from Hank Williams to The Ramones
And dreamed of Joe Grushecky coming in one night
Discovering us, introducing us to Bruce.
But when winter came, Penn Avenue was extra cold
And Billy's Dad offered him a car to go back to school.
Big Danny was already gone, hoping to find studio work in LA
And I remember standing in the snow; telling Billy to go
He promised he wouldn't; the band would go on
It was over, I said, again and again, and went inside my Mama's house
Late that night, I heard him calling my name, in the snow
And I closed my eyes, I didn't go, I didn't go.
I never saw him again except in dreams
Exactly twenty years later, my Mama called
Billy's Daddy had called looking for me
I sat with the number for a few hours
Knowing what this was about but not wanting
To hear it put into actual words
It was a few weeks after 9/11
And he told me that Billy's body had been recovered
And would I please come to the funeral in Mt. Lebanon that Friday
I didn't have an answer, I hung up the phone
Weeping, weeping, it will never stop
Years later I went to the memorial in NYC
Touching his name
Running my fingers over those precious letters
And I thought of bottles of beer
The sweet smell of canabis
And him on stage
At that club on Penn Avenue
Looking like the rock star he was.